Nanny Share Guide: How to Split a Nanny with Another Family

A nanny share gives you the best of both worlds: personalized, in-home care at a lower cost than hiring a nanny alone, plus built-in socialization for your child. Two families share one nanny, splitting the cost while their children play and learn together.

But successful nanny shares require careful planning, clear agreements, and compatible families. This guide covers everything you need to know about finding, structuring, and maintaining a nanny share arrangement.

What Is a Nanny Share?

How Nanny Shares Work

Basic structure:

• Two families hire one nanny together
• Nanny cares for children from both families
• Families split costs (though nanny earns more total)
• Care happens in one home or rotates

Typical arrangements:

• 2 families, 2-4 children total
• Same schedule for both families
• One location or alternating homes
• Shared employer responsibilities

Types of Nanny Shares

| Type | Description | Best For | |------|-------------|----------| | Full share | Both families same hours, every day | Families with identical schedules | | Part-time share | Split days or hours between families | Different schedule needs | | Rotating share | Alternates between homes | Equal convenience for both | | Fixed location | Always at one home | When one home is better suited | | Staggered share | Overlapping but different hours | Slightly different schedules |

Benefits of Nanny Shares

For parents:

• 30-40% cost savings vs. solo nanny
• High-quality, personalized care
• Built-in backup (other family helps in emergencies)
• Shared employer responsibilities
• Community with like-minded family

For children:

• Built-in playmate
• Socialization from early age
• Learning to share and cooperate
• Sibling-like relationship
• Consistent peer relationship

For nannies:

• Higher total compensation
• More engaging work (multiple children)
• Variety and stimulation
• Stronger employment (two families invested)

Finding Share Partners

Where to Search

Online resources:

• Care.com nanny share boards
• UrbanSitter
• Facebook parent groups (local)
• Nextdoor
• Nanny share matching services
• Local parenting listservs

Community connections:

• New parent groups
• Childbirth class alumni
• Neighbors with similar-age children
• Coworker parents
• Friends of friends

What to Look for in Share Partners

Compatibility factors:

| Factor | Why It Matters | |--------|---------------| | Children's ages | Similar ages play well together | | Schedule needs | Must align for share to work | | Location | Reasonable proximity required | | Parenting philosophy | Reduces conflicts over care approach | | Lifestyle compatibility | Similar expectations for activities, food, screen time | | Communication style | Need to communicate frequently and well | | Financial situation | Both must reliably pay their share |

Questions to Ask Potential Share Families

About their children:

1. "How old is your child and what are they like?"
2. "Any allergies, health issues, or special needs?"
3. "What's your child's typical schedule (naps, meals)?"
4. "How does your child do with other kids?"

About logistics: 5. "What hours and days do you need care?" 6. "Where would you prefer care to happen?" 7. "Do you have flexibility on schedule?" 8. "What's your timeline for starting?"

About parenting: 9. "What's your approach to discipline?" 10. "How do you feel about screen time?" 11. "Any dietary restrictions or preferences?" 12. "What activities are important to you?"

About the arrangement: 13. "What's your budget for a nanny?" 14. "Have you done a nanny share before?" 15. "How would you want to handle disagreements?" 16. "What happens if one family needs to leave the share?"

Red Flags in Potential Partners

Be cautious if:

• Schedule doesn't actually align well
• Very different parenting philosophies
• Unwilling to discuss details
• Inflexible on all issues
• History of share arrangements falling apart
• Financial instability
• Poor communication already

Meeting and Vetting

Before committing:

• Meet multiple times (not just once)
• Have children play together
• Discuss details thoroughly
• Visit each other's homes
• Check references (if possible)
• Trust your gut

Structuring the Share

Location Decisions

Option 1: Fixed location (one home)

| Pros | Cons | |------|------| | Simpler logistics | One family hosts always | | Consistent for children | Wear and tear on host home | | Less equipment needed | Less convenient for non-host |

Option 2: Rotating homes

| Pros | Cons | |------|------| | Fair distribution | More complex logistics | | Both families involved | Need supplies at both homes | | Variety for children | Potential inconsistency |

Option 3: Hybrid

• One "primary" home with occasional rotation
• Rotate by week or month (not daily)

Schedule Structure

Full share example:

• Monday-Friday, 8am-5pm
• Both families same hours
• All care happens together

Part-time share example:

• Family A: Monday, Wednesday, Friday
• Family B: Tuesday, Thursday
• Nanny works with each separately

Staggered share example:

• Family A: 8am-4pm
• Family B: 9am-5pm
• 8-9am and 4-5pm: one child only
• 9am-4pm: both children together

Cost Structure

How to split costs:

Equal split (most common):

• Each family pays 50% of agreed total
• Fair when schedules are equal

Proportional split:

• Based on hours each family uses
• Fair when schedules differ

Typical nanny share rates:

• Nanny earns 20-30% MORE than solo rate
• Each family pays 30-40% LESS than solo rate

Example:

• Solo nanny rate: $25/hour
• Share nanny rate: $30/hour total
• Each family pays: $15/hour
• Savings: 40% per family

Employment Structure

Option 1: One employer

• One family is official employer
• Handles all payroll, taxes
• Other family reimburses 50%
• Simpler but unequal responsibility

Option 2: Joint employers

• Both families are employers
• Split payroll duties
• More complex but more fair
• Both get tax benefits

Option 3: Nanny as independent contractor

• NOT RECOMMENDED
• Usually violates labor laws
• Nanny is almost always an employee

Written Agreement

Your nanny share agreement should cover:

Between families:

• Schedule (hours, days, location)
• Cost split and payment process
• What happens if one family leaves
• How to handle disagreements
• Trial period terms
• Notice requirements
• Backup care arrangements

Employment terms:

• Total compensation
• Benefits (PTO, sick days, holidays)
• Job responsibilities
• House rules
• Performance reviews
• Termination procedures

Hiring the Nanny

Finding Nanny Share Nannies

Where to look:

• Care.com (filter for share experience)
• Nanny agencies (some specialize in shares)
• Referrals from other share families
• Local nanny groups
• UrbanSitter, Sittercity

What to look for:

• Experience with multiple children
• Flexibility and adaptability
• Strong organizational skills
• Comfort with two families/two bosses
• Clear communication
• Experience with relevant ages

Interview Process

Interview together as families:

• Present united front
• Both sets of parents participate
• Discuss expectations from both families
• Observe how nanny handles both personalities

Questions specific to shares:

• "Have you worked in a nanny share before?"
• "How do you handle different instructions from two families?"
• "What if the children have a conflict?"
• "How do you divide attention between kids?"

Trial Period

Always do a trial:

• 2-4 weeks trial period
• Both families observe
• Check in frequently
• Adjust as needed
• Make final decision together

Making It Work Day-to-Day

Communication Systems

Establish clear communication:

• Group text or chat for all parties
• Shared calendar (Google Calendar, Cozi)
• Daily log or app (Brightwheel, etc.)
• Regular check-ins between families
• Separate communication with nanny when needed

Handling Differences

When families disagree:

• Discuss privately (not in front of nanny or kids)
• Find compromise when possible
• Default to less restrictive option for shared time
• Respect each family's rules at their home

Common areas of difference:

• Screen time policies
• Food and snacks
• Discipline approaches
• Sick child policies
• Activity preferences

Managing the Nanny

Joint management:

• Weekly check-ins together
• Annual reviews together
• Raise discussions jointly
• Present unified expectations

Avoid:

• Contradicting each other
• Putting nanny in the middle
• Unilateral decisions that affect both
• Competing for nanny's loyalty

Handling Sick Days and Absences

When a child is sick:

• Sick child stays home (which family?)
• Nanny may still work with well child
• Or nanny takes sick day
• Clear policy needed upfront

When nanny is sick:

• Both families need backup
• Coordinate coverage
• Pay sick time fairly (both share)

Common Challenges

Unequal Situations

Challenge: One child needs more attention

• Infants vs. toddlers
• Special needs
• Behavioral challenges

Solutions:

• Acknowledge in cost split
• Discuss expectations clearly
• Adjust if needed over time
• Consider if share is working

Schedule Changes

Challenge: One family's needs change

• New job with different hours
• Parental leave
• Work-from-home changes

Solutions:

• Build flexibility into agreement
• Discuss changes early
• Find new partner if needed
• Have exit provisions

Family Leaving the Share

When one family exits:

• Give adequate notice (4-8 weeks)
• Help find replacement family
• Or remaining family goes solo
• Honor financial commitments

Nanny Leaving

When nanny resigns:

• Work together on transition
• Search for replacement together
• Share the workload
• Don't blame each other

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How much do we save with a nanny share?

A: Typically 30-40% compared to hiring a nanny solo. If a solo nanny costs $25/hour, a share nanny might cost $30-32/hour total, so each family pays $15-16/hour—a significant savings.

Q: What's the ideal age combination for nanny shares?

A: Children within 6-12 months of age often work well. Same-age children can be competitive but also great playmates. Different ages (like a toddler and infant) can work but require a more experienced nanny.

Q: What if the kids don't get along?

A: Some conflict is normal. Persistent serious problems may mean the share isn't working. Try adjustments first (activities, space, nanny strategies). If nothing works, the share may need to end.

Q: Who is the nanny's employer in a share?

A: Legally, both families can be joint employers, or one family can be the primary employer with the other reimbursing. Both families should be involved in the employment relationship. Consult a household employer specialist for your situation.

Q: Can we do a nanny share with three families?

A: Three-family shares exist but are more complex. They work best with part-time schedules where the nanny isn't with all three simultaneously. Two families is more manageable.

Q: What happens during nanny's vacation?

A: Both families take the same vacation weeks (aligned), or you arrange backup care. Vacation is typically paid and should be agreed upon in advance.

Conclusion

Nanny shares offer an excellent middle ground between the high cost of a solo nanny and the less personalized care of group childcare. With the right partner family and a well-structured arrangement, everyone benefits: families save money, children gain playmates, and nannies earn more.

Keys to success:

1. Choose partners carefully—compatibility is everything
2. Put it in writing—detailed agreements prevent conflicts
3. Communicate constantly—between families and with nanny
4. Be flexible—things change, and shares must adapt
5. Address issues early—small problems become big ones
6. Treat it as a partnership—you're in this together

The investment in finding the right partner and setting up a solid structure pays off in a childcare arrangement that can last for years.

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Explore more in-home care options in our guides on how to hire a nanny, nanny cost guide, nanny vs daycare, and au pair complete guide.